Nobody wants to die but I can't pick the day I want to go. Life in this world will go on with out me and I know that, excepting death is not like it's a bad thing,it is part of life. If you understand life and then you know death is part of it. Nobody lives forever, so enjoy it whatever you got because you will never know when it will be your time.
I don't want to die, well not right now but if something happen, what can I do? I know I don't want to live forever because forever is a long long time but while I'm here I'm gonna make the best out of it, like I say no time for drama because it's not worth it. I always told people that if this is haven(meaning the earth) I don't want to be here because I do believe that there is a better place for me after this but only if you believe in it and I do.
I don't know when my day will come but I'm not going to wait for it, until then. I gotta live it up. So much to do in this world, I get high just thinking about it and that's real talk. I have always been a simple person, eat good, sleep good,I'm good never asking for to much.
I remember when my dad die, it's wasn't easy for me to let go but what I have learned is that death is only hard for the people that is living. I didn't want to see my dad go but when I saw him dying in his death bed it was not easy. My dad was fighting to stay alive and I can see it. I was driving 10hr to go see him every weekend in the hospital. I love my dad and yes he means a lot to me that is why he is my dad. I know what it is like being a dad and it's not easy.
When my dad gave his last breath and could not hold on anymore then the doctor ask me if I just wanted to let him go and I said (yes)Now he is in a better place. Seeing my dad like that was not what I wanted but I was glad I was there for his last breath. I know it was not easy at the time but I have come to understand that one day it will be me. I can say that my dad lived his life, he was 65 years old when he pass away. Love you dad and see you when I get there.
Now I get it death is only hard for the people that is living because life does go on. I mean I was living my own life already and have kids of my own. So my parent is not that big of a part of my life anymore, they did their job and did the best they could for me. My mom is still living and she been sick for over 5 years now, living off a machine. She on dialyses three times a week because her Kinney does not work. She had told me she just waiting for her time because it can be any day now. She just turn 62 years old last year.
I remember before I moved to Washington State. I just got out of jail in California and my mom told me Kit, I'm not going to be around for long and you need to learned to take care of yourself, I was 19 years old then. Ever since she told me that, I have been doing just that, taking care of myself. Like, I said before I moved her up here to be close to me and help care for her with my brother and sister. Now she is living near by me and I can see her anytime(so glad) but I do have my own life and my family that I have to care for but she understand because she is a mom also.
Death is coming and I'm not scared because it is something I can not control but I do control how I live my life. I only want to do what's best for my kids because they are the one that matter most. I love life but I understand death is part of it. So to be able to live happy you can not worry about death. I'm living life and I know death is coming but until then what can I do but to be happy for now.~real talk~
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